Tetris - for mom

Tetris and other Games

Cohort Blind Poetry

A Teacher’s Journey

My hopes as a teacher are beginning to come clear

for me to be compassionate, authentic, and having good cheer

and students whose creative passions take soar

With anticipation and a little fear

We began our journey: a wild year

With hopeful goals and dreams galore

Pain reflecting in the mirror,

Holding fast to all that's dear,

Hearts made whole that once were tore.

To my heart I will hold dear,

This time I spent in such high gear,

My memories fond forever more

The care of teachers and classmates so dear

Has made a quick start to this intense year

To teach, we now see, is a life metaphor

Laugh not yet; the coast ain't clear

For 9 more months we’re fastened here

Two more trimesters 'til this baby's born

Who is ready for next year?

With expectations high, no room for fear.

One hundred twenty young ones greeted at the door.

Can I? Should I? Will they hear?

Can I make that light appear?

Will they remember me on some distant shore?

Will my students giggle and sneer when they learn I’ve been teaching not even a year?

Will they sense and turn on my fear, knowing they've got me all year?

Or, will they just walk out the door, their papers falling dead on the floor?

As the Summer term is drawing near,

The coming Fall brings a twinge of fear

But we will all go boldly through this new door

Never forgetting the purpose of this year

Teaching children oh so dear

The students we do it all for

And our students, with great cheer,

Announce, "Teacher, we are here."

The joy drowns out the feelings from before.

Blind Poetry by Donna’s
2006-2007 GFU MAT Cohort,
collected in weeks 5 and 6

Thanks, Gabe!

learning to study

discipline

I just hadn't practiced strict discipline of my time for, . . . years, it seems.
I prayed, I knew I needed and we started:

3:00 finish reading Multiple-Intelligences chapter 2
fast paced
3:15 hole-punch morning's papers, walk
3:20 MI Ch3 I finished covered Ch3 in 25 minutes!
3:45 walk and email Angie & Brett - Happy 4th Anniversary!!!
variety
4:00 MI Ch9
4:30 re-evaluate
success
At this boint, I had actually been successful in keeping to my plan. As I figured out a second plan, to finish before dinner, this time I kept the things I wanted to finish at the forefront in my mind rather than just following time schedules.
Before 6pm and dinner, I'd like to finish chapter 4 and 5 in MI and write my 502 weekly reflection paper. I could throw in a break to search the library book shelves for Christy by Catherine Marshall, if I wanted. Well, I finished with 4 and went on to 5 without a break, typed my paper and saved it with 7 minutes to spare. Did I read the time right? Yep, 5:53pm.

And now to bed - hopefully the garlic cloves beside my bed will keep away the mosquitos tonight.

it is as if

it seems as if

• the curriculum in the MAT program was designed for me: cooperative learning, inclusion and value of all persons, natural learning style vs. memorizing for tests, collaboration amongst colleagues

awsome people

I guess it's only fitting, but I am still surprised each time I think about the wonder of it all.
I have been placed in a corhort of fun, experienced, intelligent and supportive people. Not only do they each have so much to add to the discussion from their own backgrounds, they are quick to come to class prepared and ready to participate. And so affirming. I've got to get to reading, I want to learn as much as I can to contribute to our discussions tomorrow.

I've already figured out a plan for my new 502 Perspectives class - teach about measurement by making up units of measure, then asking my classmates to find the distance of the quickest route between the library, post office, Bruin's Den, Steven's Center Financial Aid front desk, and the clock tower stuck on 6:35. figured that out before dinner today! Oh, mom, I did eat a good dinner: taco salad with chicken flavored in elephant garlic and vinegar. Mmmm. I'm full.

sweet pea flowers by a bright full moon

each Sunday, I admit, I am tuned into the improv network

Tonight was no exception, and my role was a leading one:

Tour the coutryside with a bag of peanut-butter and chocolate chip muffins, sharing at will.

One left on a doorstoop, another I began to eat between the second and first floors on a slow Otis elevator

Marybel could only eat half during our even conversation, the other half was covered by a paper towel while I walked out to get the mail, through the afterglow of a just-set-sun, tiny pink clounds and a banner of white brilliance. On the opposite horizon, a bright full moon uped itself from a line of soft blue clouds and a twightlight backdrop. On this stage, I walked back along the country road, stopped to pick three stalks of pastel sweet pea flowers and enjoyed my cousins.
And enjoyed my cousins.

• Thanks Marybell, my phone-a-nurse and prayer companion, for praising God in front of me in the face of OBSTACLEs - nothing is too big for our Papa, God
• Thanks Jan, supreme brainstormer and hospitality cooridinator, for the key to your house and a constant welcome
• Thanks to Grandpa Roy for flowers, fellowship, financial advice, logical thinking - Izzy's pizza, etc. was wonderful, but more wonderful is spending time with you
• Thanks Dan, Tami and Rebekah (sp?) - you are so welcoming. Luna even ended up liking me - I think it was because I spent a good 10 minutes rubbing her back under the table with my bare feet. That's kind of soothing.
• Thanks Rathkeys - you make me feel at home!

Ah, this is the kind of day I want to remember during the wet, rainyness of winter - driving through the country with a breeze and warm, honey smells.

final project: EDUG 530 Learning Theorgy

My learning theory prof, Donna, asked me to reflect on our final project: tearing up and remaking a book. That's right! No test or final paper, just altering a book, a whole book.

Here are my relections.

What was this like for you?
Possibly more time consuming that studying for a test, or writing a paper, but a lot more meaningful and enjoyable - enjoyable work.

What did or didn’t make learning possible?
Having to work to "construct" something meaningful and draw upon all of the past two weeks learning made more learning and connections come about. The open-ended part was a bit scarey, but so refreshing when I really got into the material - I didn't have to write an outline or report about Frank Smith, I could use pictures!!!! The longer I worked on the project, the more varied were my forms of representing learning.

At first, I was very excited to be with the group I was with. Then it got more difficult because we had a hard time coming to agreement about how to approach this project. I really wanted to slow down and discuss more, but was challenged to jump in and alter the section of the book which I read. I didn't really ever get a good overview of the book, but I knew my section, and it was the most immportant. =)

Because I read my section the first time with a critical eye and an active pencil, it was easier to make an outline of what needed to be cut and where additions needed to come. After reading through my chapters once, I started making an outline of paragraphs - which to cut and where to add. Then, I made a draft of the new book - still shocked to be cutting up a book. I used the draft to search the internet for appropraite pictures and additional information. And finally, by 12:03pm on Thursday, the masterpiece was completed. My perfectionistic side got in the way a bit, but the "just do it" part helped out.

What kind of learning happened during the course of putting together this altered book?
Connections, Connections, Connections. Connections between theorists and ideas came together for me. The same can be said of the snapshots. I think I have an understanding of the various learning theories that either connects with my life or to a structure I now have in my mind (piaget is next to and similar to dewey but dewey's social aspect has much more in common with Vygotsky) I had learned about Bandura and Vygotsky in psychology classes. But now I was learning how their work was being used in and by the field of education, and how it connected to some - Dewey & Critical Pedagogy - and contrasted with others - Piaget, Skinner. I love reading through some of the books I just got, recognizing names and being able to understand their perspectives, at least a little.

found poetry - in progress

To reflect my first three weeks of grad school:

coming with more urgency, my plans changed
accompanied by my stranger cousin
walkie talkies with Chrissy

Granpa could die any time - don't dawdle
he lingered a week after his brain synapses collapsed
not eating, not drinking
responding only enough time to count on the fingers of his large hands
motioned prune picking, then turning on an ancient, invisible drier
they saved the farm that way, Uncle Forrest and Granpa, with hard work
Grandpa was the last of his sibblings to make it to heaven
Only Orpha, Forrest's wife is left
Dying was hard work,
He died while Daniel and Bren were talking with him
Saturday evening

Friday we had talked, me to Grandpa and me for him too
he's stopped squeezing hands or moving
I said I was sad that he was leaving us, sad that he'd miss my wedding
sad that he wouldn't know my children and that they wouldn't know him
But glad he would be with Grandpa
"You would say to stick close to God, to be grounded in the word."
I love you and I know you love me
I cried and still am, I don't know why
growing old was hard work, I say growing up is hard work too

they say dying people don't notice their dry mouths
I came into the room thirsty, and could only think of how horrible it would be
to lay there for days without a drink
I tried using a wash cloth finally
Grandpa moved his lips as I washed them,
hoping I was helping
Compassion

As Grandpa was dying,
ThursdayI was moving into my new home, for the next year
it's at the end of a coundry/woods road
a room and run of the house
perfect. furnishings provided, internet connection, firm mattress
recycling, 2.1 miles from the friendly Newberg gas station
FridayI was running errands, getting finanacial aid
checking in at school
spending time with grandpa:talking, online, studying
Mom and Bren and Dan arrived
SaturdayI was taking my ORELA test in Portland
"I know how to get to Powells" except when I'm on the wrong freeway
spending time with Chrissy before her Morocco trip
eating dessert, paying the bill or driving when he took his final breaths
so glad Dan got to talk with him, to him, near him
What is Brenda thinking?
got to kiss his cheek one last time, scratchy with the day's growth just starting to show
stayed the night with family in Grandpa's old room

went to church on Sunday, late, awkward, good message, so many people
went to see Marybel - another cousin to connect with, becoming my phone-a-nurse

Started school the next day. Oreintation.
Loved classes, I like the interaction, like to learn in class
1 hour for lunch and late for my first class after lunch
ate with my mom and sister who were cleaning out Grandpa's room
Tardiness became a habit. Why? This is a pattern from ages past.
Fix a great dinner, enjoying life until
anxiety that evening - reading to do, a paper to print, but how?
my printer is still in the mail
Jan's
but I waste hours trying to connect my computer
still haven't read
stomach dumping acid, hearing the echos "i can't" "quitting is an option" "this just isn't the best time"
by midnight I go back home to sleep. Can't.
dumping more acid, sick, full of fear acid
finally throwing up, sleep for 1/2 hour, sick, trying to return to calm
As dawn hints, I call dad and cry,
I ask him to pray, he does and mom calls me back later
she got in at 4am
I throw up one more time and slowly put my clothes on
can't miss class - this is grad school
I only take in soda water all day
finish my paper at noon at Jan's
it's for my peers, not for a teacher, so it's important, their learning depends on me
And I'm awake, not sleepy at all. God shows up.
One professor's daily lesson includes hope, just for me. God shows up again.
Both my professors are supportive,
I give myself a week to make it or drop out

I don't remember much after that - chapter outlines due daily, readings assigned daily.
"Discourse" finally comes together, I start reading/comprehending better
I like to read slowly, to understand all levels, to hear the words in my head. I really never finish reading the first assigned readings. Luckily, my cohort teacher believes that more isn't always better. God again. My cohort has challenging, intellectual and caring people in it.
I make my HS group laugh when telling them I've signed up for the money.
They think I'm smart, they recognize the value I have to offer, I've become more elloquent

Granpa's funeral is Saturday. I go down to Salem to stay with my family. The bury Grandpa's ashed beside grandma's ashed, in a bag grandma made for Grandpa. We visit with a lot of people. My childhood friend, and Granpa's next door neighboor girl - Janel - is there and says without Grandpa and Grandma, she probably wouldn't be a Christian today. Praise the Lord, Grandpa might chime. He didn't want our attention, wanted it to be directed to God. Sunday I went back to Rosedale church in the red hills where Grandpa was born and burried. His grandparents are burried up there too. Another visit with Marybel.

Comfort in the second week of grad school - Frank Smith
learning does not have to be hard work, it's natural, from the company you keep.
Teaching a mim Spanish lesson with Britany, fellow Spanish teacher wanna-be.
Free to ask questions of each other, we are vulnerable to say when we don't understand
So good, so very good. No one puts the other down for asking. If anything they are applauded.

4th of July weekend - 24 hours to Twin Rocks and back to deliver one of the Girls Camp speakers. My housemate, Johannan went along for the ride. Good to get to know her. 4 days without classes. Work on altering one of our books for Theory. That's our final project - no tests. NO TESTS YET!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wake up in the middle of the night with take-your-breath-away chest pain - sleep deprivation (getting 6 or more a night) or a dream or ?

20 min. celebraton on Thursday - three classes down in three weeks (2-3 months worth of material). Only two more weeks of classes to go this summer.
Gabe and I sign up as the first group to present an hour lesson next Monday morning. We don't want to loose this moment that has been built.
Thursday night I look everywhere for my agenda notebook (plans for summer), can't find it and suddenly my neck starts to hurt with a stiff, tightness. Find the notebook in my TO Do file. logical
try to sleep
wake up in the middle of the night and I can't move my neck.
No sleep or comfort.
nothing helps, although a bit more mobility is restored as I move around in the morning.
I work through the constant pain and pulsing headache as Gabe and I meticulously plan our Monday presentation. We have no school but we use the morning to get our planning done. Good time to do a project!!! Chiropractor adjusts my c1 and C2 and T1 & T2? adds heat (I feel fairly good during the heating part). But as soon as I move - the pain returns. I buy a $20 heating pad from Freddies while shopping - I want to eat eggs in the morning, be able to make tuna on toast and bake chocolate chip cookies. Flour and sugar, eggs and milk, fresh fruit for lunches.
I'm slowing reading when Karen and Craig come home. Their family has had this odd flu that makes one's neck stiff. Yes! I'm not totally crazy.
Stressed, yes.
Yet, not wanting to use that or death or sickness as excusses. It's too easy to play that role. and not everyone knows yet that I am confident - my advisor suggested I work on my confident teaching voice and posture. Good advice, she might be giving it to all 20 of us in the co-hort.

When is the stress management course coming up? I think it is happening simultaneously with Cook, Don't Food Poison Yourself, and Bike Maintanance, Time Management and Printer Troubleshooting.

what makes learning possible?

In the midst of my final project for Learning Theory, I have discovered some writers & theorists:

Frank Smith - learning happens by the company you keep, naturally, out with tests; further, he traces education theory during the last 150 years and shows how many of the practices of education come from faulty assumptions (Ebbinghaus' nonsense words) Nel would agree with faulty assumptions - and from the endeavors our nation has spent the most time and money on (War language and practices - IQ and Stanford-Binet testing, space and computer age pursuits). His sarcastic trivia included how Binet's test was developed to determine who should or shouldn't be in an insane asylumn. I would personally feel like a success if my classroom could encourage students, and myself, to learn classically.

Nel Noddings - motivation - work with the current motivation of the student rather than force or coerce student to be "into" learning my way or my stuff, reminiscent of "teaching will flow out of who you are" and "works come through faith." I believe I would prefer hearing to reading her idea due to the complexity of the ideas

Paulo Freire and bel hooks - challenging notion of students coming to school as "blank slates," suggesting all teachers and students and all students are teachers, especially interested in making learning accessible to the "opressed" or those unincluded in society/school.

Big "ah ha" moment of the day has to do with multiculturalism. As I have been thinking through how to include "other cultures" in my curriculm, it suddenly occurred to me that my curriculm already has a cultural "bent." So that is what people have been trying to tell me for the last four years. This "ah ha" moment has been brought to you courtsey of Frank Smith, . . . or was that Eric Jensen?

Found it - Jensen, page 119 "In some cases, you might teach something five times and the fifth time might be the charm, especially if the brain is suddenly becoming ready for it. In other cases, you might simply plant the seeds for a task and let it go until next year." Piagetian stages appear might have influenced Jensen, better check the references. Nope, not even in the Index. However, stages are one of the four most recognized contributions of Piaget, so of course stages influenced Jensen. " . . . after Piaget, what educator who takes teaching seriously will ignore the fact that students may be developing through stages? Even more significantly, at some stages the students might not yet have developed the logical or conceptual equipment to be able to tackle certain types of problems."

Did I just remember and acurately recall something of Jensen and Piaget?! I don't even agree with much of their work? Could be the melted and reformed chocolate. Could be the plants on my desk producing oxygen. Or, it could be learning.