waiting to get ready

- - -a processing (wordy) blog- - -
Today I called the receptionist, but that was after four full days of uncertainty.

My cooperating teacher (CO) and I met in June, the day after school was our for him. In his emails it said he was going to be busy (summer school principal) so he had no time for a meeting but I could drop by and introduce myself.He was finishing up working in one of the faculty work areas. I walked in and introduced myself. And started to talk while he was working. He asked if we could talk after he finished his scantrons. oops

Yeah, I could wait, no problem. So then we went back to his room. He showed me some stuff and spend a long time trying to track down text books which I might be able to use over the summer. We were spending so much time that I knew he could be using for other things, but he kept showing me things and I kept listening. Very good stuff - how much homework and when, his style of interacting with students. But minutes kept ticking by. Finally I found some excuss. I mean, I could have stayed there longer, but I already felt it was an imposition. Maybe not. We are from different cultures, we are different genders. Lost in translation of some type.

At the time, he thought I would start the same day that the kids started. I thought I would attend inservice meetings with him ahead of time. Hmmm

summer classes, summer practicum at camp,

Orientation hits on the Thursday before we official should be starting: be at school this Monday for teacher inservices. It is as if you are a teacher. If you have no place to go, go with a buddy.

The High School's teachers don't officially start until Tuesday but I am prepared. I send an email on Friday, the day after our orientation, to my CO. I let him know that I can start (maybe can is too weak) on Monday, and would be happy to help with anything and go to any appropriate inservice meetings (some meetings with unions, etc. were suggested by the University as some our COs might not think of as appropriate). I even advised him of a meeting my university advisor would want to have with us at my CO's convenience and asked if before school started (this coming week) would be good for him. I ask him to let me know when to come in - I don't want to show up unexpected or be seen as demanding and bossy. So I send it on Friday.
-Wonder if he's back in the states from vacation, on Saturday.
-Pray in church, pray in the car, review the books my CO loaned me on Sunday.
-and Monday, I get up at 6 to start getting in a new habit and
sit
at
my
computer
doing a lot, for sitting. Clearing up stacks of things to do, fixing my computer, working on my classwork ahead of time, worrying and wondering if I'm doing the right thing by letting the ball fall in my CO's unresponsive email box.
-again on Tuesday but more intense.
Just typing this my stomach is knotting and I consciously have to take deep breaths and relax. Tuesday was the day teachers started. My CO should look in him email box at least today, and let me know? Four others are student teaching at Newberg. One has received an email from her teacher, she is to come in on Wednesday. So I am consoled, a bit. But I recieve no email, no instructions. Am I supposed to guess. Was my CO serious last June about me starting with the kids next week!!!!! I get more done and my room and life seem almost as organized as they can get. I don't let myself sleep even though my body asks for it, to cope with frustration. As I am scrolling through my cell phone's contact list, deleting obsolete contacts, I notice Mandy's name and call. I invite myself over to a night at her place after her three children are put to sleep and she has a chance to run errands. So good. We talk, she plans her school lessons for Nathanial - her just 4 year-old. Duets with Starts is on the TV. Why do we yawn?
-Wednesday morning I find that not even Bill Nye knows why we yawn. He lists a lot of stuff about his own trials with yawning . I personally believe it is because our bodies need more oxygen (or food). I've decided to go to the High School anyway. To just show up. But as I'm putting my breakfast dishes away, that seems rude. But calling - inspiration - thank you papa God! I call quickly with the thought still fresh in my frontal lobe. I am more composed and eloquent on the phone with the secretary, than I had anticipated. She puts me through to my CO. The moment has come and what should I call him: informal or formal, I settle for the Spansih "Sr." Then he's talking and I'm giving my name, asking if today is a good day to come in. He asks a simple question "When do you start?" and this is where things might have gone off track. I don't want him to feel bad (oh this happens so, so, so, often) so I explain more than I answer. Looking back I could have said "Monday, two days ago." But our university supervisors strongly suggested going along with our COs - they are the bosses of a lot of things, including but not limited to when we come in. So I probably did right by explaining how orientation was last week and I have two week that I can go to inservices or help set up the classroom. He said I could come in next Tuesday. He has lesson plans to write and things to do. This week he needs time alone.

Makes sense.

What!

But I am still cheerful on the phone. Great! Do you have my email address? Let me know if there is anything else I can help with. Okay, my supervisors wants to set up a meeting with us, I imagine the coming week is out. What about the week after? What time on Tuesday? 7:30 it is.

So kids get to school at what time? And I . . . .?

you know what? I've been to three years' worth of inservices. In an elementary school, granted. But I'll probably figure that out. I did this same thing my first day of assistant teaching -showing up on the same day as the students.

So what will I need in order to be successful that first day?
I thought about dropping of my CO's copy of the Student teacher handbook, but I'm pretty sure handing it to him in person will be best.
Tour of school. Wonder if some of the students could come and give me a tour. Della Anderson, Glen Gathercoal. Hmm.
Letter to parents? My CO and I will have to figure this out. Probably not as big of a deal as it is for elementary students.
I'll just observe the first day.
Parent and Student and Teacher handbooks - I can ask for those in the office.
Map of school, high-school-specific calendar - front office
So I'll know my way around, I've already familiarized myself with the school online
Content I will be teaching - more review of the books
Sleep
Do I need to go observe elsewhere for this week? why? maybe for the experience of it all. Places I would love to go: Hermiston, Oregon and McLaren in Salem. Hermiston is too far - I've already spent a chunk of money on gas this Fall. But McLaren might work, or another high school with one of my co-hort buddies. I think being in the same high school might cause some tension.
How do I figure out how much time I need to be spending in my math assignment? I just emailed program coordinator.
Oohhh, I could go to a sports event.

Do I need to let my university supervisor or my cohort leader know that my cooperating teacher has asked me to come in on the first day of school and not before? I could feel comfortable with it. I don't want to get in trouble and I don't want to miss out. Leaning toward viewing this not as a problem but as a challenge and I have some ways I'm dealing with it: go to the NHS office, ask for a tour from students. Is there a student night or registration I should be involved in? Well, I haven't been told about it. Should I "bother" again by asking. I would have to call to insure a reply. Email didn't seem to work. I'm content to do things my CO's way.

But if I can do anything to be more ready - I'll do it!

Best books - a list in progress

• Christy by Catherine Marshall - 8/28/06 - Quaker theology, poiniant observations of living and teaching, brilliant imagery, teaching outside of one's own culture "But to Miss Alice it was lack of joy that was the heresy. (p 109)"

symphony in the park

Saturday afternoon, I went with a housemate and another friend, Ruth, up to a park in Portland where the Oregon Symphony came to play:
Strauss dance waltzes
Blue Tango
Dances with Wolves
Pops Hoe-Down
Grease
Pomp and Circumstance
Love for Three Oranges
Whistler and His Dog
Siamese Children
Hungarian, Spanish and Neapolitan Dances.

They played in the evening from sunset to dark under a canopy. We sat in the back behind the crowd, surrounded by tall trees, grass and occasional clapping and dancing. I read some of a book while eating chips and fresh salsa, listening to the amazingly beautiful music. Unlike the real symphony where you must dress up, sit down and be quiet; here I could add in my comments, lounge on the grass carpet, get up to buy ice cream and strawberries or teach Ruth how to dance hoe-down style. We laughed and listened. It was beautiful.

This Thursday, the OS plans on playing at the Waterfront in Portland and we intend to make a repeat audience, armed with books and good food.

effort to remember, effort to build up

It’s bigger than we thought
It’s taller than it ought to be
This pile of rubble and ruins

The neighbors must talk
It’s the worse yard on the block
Just branches and boards where walls stood

Did it seem to you
Like the storm just knew
We weren’t quite finished with
The roof when it started?

So we build
We build
We clear away what was
And make room for what will be
If you hold the nails,
I’ll take the hammer
I’ll hold it still
if you’ll climb the ladder
If you will, then I will build

On any given day
We could simply walk away
And let someone else
Hold the pieces

The lie that we tell
Says its better somewhere else
As if love flies south when it freezes

What I’m trying to say
in some clumsy way
Is that it’s you and only you for always

That’s why we build . . .

What I’m trying to say
in some clumsy way
Is that it’s you and only you

Not just for now, not just for today
But it’s you and only you for always

So if you hold the nails . . .

If you will, then I will build. -

“We Build” on BraveBy Nicole Nordeman
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If I was to organize how we interact, things would be different: Regular conversations whether we felt we need them or not.

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Sonnet 29 "When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes"
When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least:

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee,--and then my state
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate;

For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings'.

William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)http://www.albionmich.com/inspiration/whenindisgrace.html

August 14

I have been [captivated by] community longer than I realized. Track in 7th grade, kindergarten tire-toy-structure hierarchy, 5th grade mind games competition, mission trip, college band, Newlin4, Newberg small group, pain of irreconciliation, co-hort group.

As my heart hurts now, I remember how often I have hurt yours and how often you have been careful and patient to put up with my own anger and rebellion. It is your turn, I suppose. Or rather, mine. May God give me the desire and will to love as I have been loved.

Today a neighbor I’ve talked with only once before (Halloween when I was a child) stopped by to buy some corn. He and his family have lived behind my house since before I was born. But we are different. I didn’t recognize him or his car. If I had, I might have stopped cranking ice cream. As it was we chatted a bit while I sent Shreela to fetch mom and her corn selling advice. Mom says he’s stopped by before. I didn’t know we were on talking terms. This is so good.

rhombicosidodecahedron

While studying for my mega-math exam, I stumbled on these sentences:

"Have you ever heard of a "rhombicosidodecahedron"? Some claim it's one of the most attractive of the 3-D figures, having equilateral triangles, squares, and regular pentagons for its surfaces."

Thank you - math.com - for adding joy to my day.